I can’t believe it has been 3 years since Hurricanes Irma and Maria swept through the Virgin Islands. It really doesn’t feel like that long ago and to be honest, I am not sure how recovered we all are. Struggling with loss happens to everyone and there are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you and those around you feel better.
As someone who lost their home and all their belongings in one night, I get anxious at the beginning of each hurricane season. While I still look for the positives in every situation, I have learned that acknowledging the reality of what is happening can be healing for yourself and those around you. We like to preach about moving forward and letting go but there is power in validating a person’s struggle today. Letting them know you see them and even if you don’t understand completely, you will make an effort to do so.
Today, I want to remember and pray for those who have not recovered but who are still putting one foot in front of the other, unsure of the destination. I am one of you and I have found that being patient with yourself is they key. Don’t rush to feel better or put on a front. Continue to dig deep and ask yourself the tough questions so you can have the kind of life you want to lead going forward.
Questions to Ask Yourself
1. Am I allowing others to help? As a perpetual giver, it can be difficult for me to ask for help but when you feel low, it is unreasonable to think you can do it alone. Struggling in silence should never be an option. So many people fed us, gave us a place to stay and comforted us for months after the storms. Most of them were not our family but just good people with kind hearts. It mattered so much then and still matters to this day to know that you don’t always have to pick yourself up when you fall. It is my mission to spread more kindness in the world and normalize asking for help when you need it!
2. Am I focused on stuff? When everything you own blows away, but your family is safe, you get it immediately that life matters more than materials. It may be time to downsize your life so you can have room for fulfilling activities. I am fully aware that I don’t need as much stuff as I thought. While I still like nice things, I definitely don’t own half as much as I used to. My coworkers used to make fun of me for wearing the same crocs every day for 3 years (literally, until they started to disintegrate) but I am proud of my priorities. Gaining or losing material things will never affect my emotions so deeply again.
3. Am I making time for the things that matter? Time is the best commodity. I am so thankful I get to make memories with Steve and the kids everyday. The pandemic gave me even more time than I was looking for but I am grateful. What are we doing if not living the kind of life we want to live with the people we want to live it with. I am not wasting anymore time following someone else’s agenda. If you’re struggling because you are afraid to take a leap, this is the time to believe in yourself. Life is too short to put your dreams on hold. If you’re not sure what the next steps should be, read my post 5 Focus Areas To Live a Happy, Fulfilled Life. Trust me, devoting 30 minutes a day towards something you are passionate about can light that flame of positivity and help pull you out of a dark place. Just start and see what happens!
These last three years have flown by for some but for others, it has felt like quicksand pulling them down into depression and worry. I felt an upward pull because of the love of family, friends and strangers. I want to continue that. Let’s check on one friend or neighbor to make sure they are not struggling in silence or just to let them know they are not alone. I don’t know what plans are in store for us this hurricane season but I know God is with us. Let’s be there for each other as well.
Take care and stay safe, friends!
This is an uplifting perspective on an extremely difficult time for many of us. Thank you.
Thank you, Joss. I hope we continue to pull together to weather whatever storms are ahead.