I recently read an article by a mom of two (like myself) who declared she’d never take productivity advice from anyone without kids. Intrigued, I expected an empowering take on the value of seeking guidance from those who truly understand our challenges—therapists, coaches, gurus, pastors who are also moms.
To my surprise and dismay, the article was about how working moms can only improve their lives if external parties change. While I agree that corporate structures should be more flexible and childcare more affordable, this viewpoint places the solution entirely in someone else’s hands. This is the opposite of empowerment and can lead to a victim mentality. Yes, society can do more to support working moms, but we can also take steps to help ourselves.
The article dismissed productivity tools, systems, and habits that work, arguing that working moms can’t find even five minutes to breathe. The example given was meditation, deemed an absurd ask. This notion upset me because it implies there’s nothing we can do to improve our lives. I couldn’t disagree more. We have more time than we give ourselves credit for. Let’s be honest about it so we can make better choices with that time.
I’ll go first and maybe I’ll be the only one to admit it, but I’m tired of acting like we need to be saved from the overwhelm of motherhood.
1. Spending Too Much Time on Social Media
I don’t know my daily usage, but I could check my phone. I don’t want to know, and neither do you because we spend an average of 2 hours a day on social media. What could you do with an extra 2 hours? We can definitely fit some breathing in there.
2. Allowing Distractions to Derail Focus
It takes nothing to activate my “squirrel sense” when I’m working on something I don’t want to do. Even something as trivial as rain can be the escape I need from laundry or a tedious project. Studies show it can take 23 minutes to regain focus after a distraction. Over a workday, that’s a lot of wasted time.
3. Disguising Procrastination as Productivity
I’m guilty of writing to-do lists and never looking at them again. I get caught up in planning and researching instead of doing what needs to be done. Some call this “procrasti-working,” and while the name is cute, the time it wastes is not.
4. Overcommitting to Tasks and Events
Being social isn’t bad, but I’ve said yes to things because I value being liked more than my time. This packs my calendar and raises my anxiety. Learning to set limits on our time is healthy and creates space for what truly matters.
5. Believing Multitasking Saves Time
Multitasking seems essential for moms, but it kills productivity. It takes longer to do tasks and we don’t do them well. Multitasking is a game with no winners and no prizes.
Conclusion
We do A LOT as moms. We manage households, nurture children, excel at careers, and support extended families. The demands on our time and energy are nonstop. We juggle all these responsibilities with remarkable resilience, making it look easy to everyone around us.
However, in catering to everyone else’s needs, we often neglect our own well-being. We’re not lazy or idle; we’re constantly in motion but rarely take time for ourselves. Self-care and personal growth aren’t luxuries; they’re crucial for sustained joy and fulfillment. Reclaiming moments to nurture our souls and refuel our spirits is necessary. We can’t be our best for others if we don’t prioritize being our best for ourselves.
I hope my passion wasn’t too off-putting. I’m not apologizing for it, but I understand if you feel some resistance. This is not a simple topic. It’s layered, nuanced, and important. As a coach, I see too many working moms start from a place of “I don’t have time, help, or options” only to realize it’s a story we tell ourselves. I’m fired up about helping working moms wake up excited about life. Better, happier lives come from honesty, self-awareness, and accountability. External support is crucial, but we should never belittle the power we have to shape our own lives. The size of the step doesn’t matter; what matters is knowing it’s yours to take.
