This past week was an absolute doozie. I had a doctor’s appointment on Monday, my first check up since getting an NED (no evidence of disease) status. To go from a high of being deemed cancer free to the low of hearing you have to be on hormone blockers for at least 10 years (even after I get a hysterectomy) has been one heck of a roller coaster. Can a girl catch a break?
I was feeling quite overwhelmed when I posted on instagram and you know what happened? You reached out. Not only to support and pray for me but also to share your own accounts with me. Imagine that. I love that a simple act of vulnerability resulted in tangible support. That is the way it should work and I thank you all for bringing it to light; the power of a community that shows up.
I ended up connecting with three beautiful Breasties from all over North America who shared authentically about their experience with hormone blockers. What struck me most about these women is how vibrant and just downright cool they were. We laughed and talked for hours about cancer, hip hop and life in general. It’s amazing how one conversation can give you renewed energy and less fear around the next step in the treatment process.
And boy did I need it, because my Mom left to go back to Barbados on Friday. Having my mother since February has been the biggest blessing. Not only did it give me peace of mind, but we made so many amazing memories this year alone. She is an amazing mom, yes but I also got to know the woman as well. I will miss our walks around the neighborhood, the weekly commentary around Married At First Sight and the Michelin Star food creations she would whip up with ease.
Still send up prayers for me, Steve and the kids as we adjust to life without my mom. The transition will be difficult but we can do it together. The kids were begging her to come back when they spoke to her last night. Trust me, I was hoping she would come back too. I am so sick and tired of feeling like I have to hide how I’m really feeling. No wonder so many people are one bad encounter from snapping. Life is not easy and we should be able to speak honestly about our experiences and receive support, not criticism.
It definitely got me thinking about how we can create safe spaces for others to share their authentic feelings. I don’t know yet what to do but I will keep praying and brainstorming about how we can make progress in this area.
Time to make room for realness. Let me know in the comments if you’re down or if you have any ideas. Community is more than one person so let’s start the conversation.
