Yo, yo, yo! I’m back, baby!!! From where, you ask (cause I’m pretty sure you never left)? From the twilight zone. Let me explain. I let the internet convince me that I wasn’t doing blogging the way I should and I caught a case of over-engineering-itis. But luckily, I found the cure. Being utterly and completely overwhelmed was just what I needed to get back to basics. Trust yourself!!!
My husband would call this section Core Values: The why behind what you’re doing. I had to throw all the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s away and get back to the nitty gritty of what writing meant to me. First of all it’s a release for me to get all my thoughts and feelings out of my head. I mean, we don’t need to keep all this crazy locked up in this tiny ole head of mine. Trust me.
Secondly, I want to leave a piece of me on the internet for my kids. Who knows what the internet will be in 10 years. Maybe they can turn my words into a hologram or something. But if I happen not to be here, then hopefully, they can come to these pages and feel comforted in knowing they were liked, loved and cherished. That, will hopefully, be enough for them to remember that there isn’t anything they can’t accomplish or overcome.
And last but certainly not least, I just want to inject some good, old-fashioned truth on the world wide web. The amount of lies and half-truths on the internet are absolutely disgusting and downright scary. I’m praying that by sharing my story authentically that others will be inspired to do the same and we can finally overtake all the fake news.
Sorry. Let me get off my soap box and get back to the task at hand. Liberating myself from all the pressure of blogging by numbers is literally the best gift I could give myself this year. Too many times, we tie our own hands because of what everyone is doing. I am better at recognizing when this is happening in areas I feel confident in. I’m usually not afraid to stand up for myself and even push back. But when I’m the aggressor, it takes me much more time to realize that I’m under attack.
Even though it sucks being the camel when the final straw lands, I am thankful for the moments of clarity these disasters bring. After being on this Earth for almost 40 years, I know now that the “you can have it all” carrot is actually a rutabaga. Having it ALL is no longer my goal. There is limited time and too many things to do. At this point, I just want to love hard, have fun and do good. All under the umbrella of deepening my relationship with God which can sometimes feel like pressure too. Again, all self-imposed but that’s a post for another day. Anyway, thank you for listening to me rant about my new (old) way forward. I can’t even put it into words how light I feel right now. Cheers to an unapologetic return to self!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, please know you’re not alone. Also know that deep down, you know exactly what’s right for you. It may not make sense to anyone else but it doesn’t have to. Maybe one day, we’ll stop looking for validation from others and trust ourselves more. Maybe that day is today. We get to choose…
How do you know when you’re making the right decision for you even when others are telling you it’s a bad idea?
