Working moms are magical…
We really are unicorns but the sad part is, a lot of us feel like donkeys; work horses who feel invisible and unappreciated. Donkeys aren’t the main attraction at birthdays shindigs but they might be responsible for lugging all the party supplies and people up the hill to the party location.
Moms are responsible for creating so much joy for others but rarely feel that level of fulfillment themselves. And from what I’ve noticed from countless conversations with my mom friends and clients, is that it’s all cause by a lack of reflection. I had a client who I worked with for 3 months and we accomplished more than what she expected together but when asked what her favorite part of our sessions was, she mentioned celebrating the wins.
It’s so funny because this was one of the hardest practices for her when we first started our coaching relationship. She had a habit of starting the call by stating that she really didn’t accomplish much in the last week with a tone of being unimpressed with her efforts. Then I would just ask, “Okay, this is the list of actions from last week. Let’s go through each one and you can give me an update”. I would intently listen and take notes. By the time she was done, the list was ALWAYS long.
I’m not exaggerating when I say most of the time she accomplished everything on the list. But not until she was faced with the reality versus just the emotion, was she able to give herself credit for all she had done. Truth be told, it was my favorite part of our sessions too. Watching someone go from feeling guilty and unaccomplished to proud and motivated left me feeling inspired every single time. I’ll never tire of wanting to be a part of that process.
how does journaling help me feel better?
Feelings are deeply rooted in the stories we tell ourselves and not all of them are true. Journaling helps take our jumbled up thoughts and feelings and turns them into tangible pieces of awareness that help us see truth from fiction. We’re doing more than we give ourselves credit for, we have more answers to questions we’ve been pondering for weeks than we know and we have greater clarity around the steps we can take than we feel in the moment. Journaling not only makes us aware of how we are truly feeling, it allows us to turn those feelings into decisions and reminds us that we have options. Even if the choice is to do nothing and be patient. Journaling allows us to be the friend to ourselves that we are to others and it’s always there for us no matter the time of day or location. So many people think journaling is just a release. It can be. But it also allows you to find the person you lost when you became a mother and intentionally assess if who you’re being today is who you want to be tomorrow. You can use journaling in so many way and that is just the point. It can be whatever you need in the moment. A friend, a guide, an encouraging word, a release, a kick in the butt or a shoulder to cry on. And if you ever want to look back, you can see how much you’ve matured, changed and blossomed. It truly is a wonderous activity that I hope you give a chance to.
How can I start a journaling practice?
The best way to start a journaling practice is to try free writing. It’s literally a brain dump of what is on your mind. It doesn’t have to make sense and you definitely don’t want to edit yourself. If you are a fan of puzzles, you know the first step is getting every single piece out of the box and onto the coffee table so you know what you’re working with. The same is true for free writing. You’re so used to carrying around all the cares, worries, obligations and fears in your head even while you’re asleep.
Free writing gives you an opportunity to not only see exactly what you’re thinking about but experience what life could be like without the constant weight of the mental load. That only happens if you get it out of your head. You don’t need a special journal to do this either which means you can start right now. Find any piece of paper or pull up a blank page in Google Docs, set a timer and start writing. I recommend anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes of free writing for a week to begin.
You might not love it but remember, identifying that is a good thing. There are so many different ways to journal and you should have fun exploring them all. But start with just getting your mind clearer and maybe even getting to know how you feel about life as it stands today. Brain dumping will help you do that while removing the limits of perfection and structure. So be messy, silly and imperfect on those pages that are just for you. Even if you don’t enjoy this style of journaling, realize there is so much value in the journey of getting to know and love the real you.
What are some journaling prompts for self-discovery and reflection?
It’s interesting. I self published my own journal, The Wellthy Mama guided self-love journal based on listed journaling, so you would think I would recommend that’s where you start. While I think it’s an excellent journal and a beautiful gift, I want you to begin as early as today and the best way to do so is to make it super easy.
If free writing is not for you then give journal prompts a try. There are so many sources for prompts so you won’t lack for resources. As working moms, decision fatigue can stop us from finding the energy or desire to choose one more thing even if that is what to write about in a journal. Journal prompts are questions that are already created usually with a theme in mind to help you reflect further on your mental, physical, emotional or environmental state. There is no need to pull from a bank of the millions of questions you could ask in order to come up with the perfect one for today. Journal prompts remove any overwhelm around what the topic of the day should be and just allow you to show up and answer the question. If this sounds wonderful to you, then here are 5 of my favorite journal prompts for self-discovery and reflection:
- What activities make you lose track of time and feel truly engaged?
- What aspects of your life are you most grateful for, and why?
- When do you feel most authentically yourself, and why?
- How do you define success, and how close are you to achieving it?
- What relationships in your life bring you the most joy and fulfillment? Why?
How can I fit journaling into my busy schedule?
Contrary to popular belief, journaling doesn’t require a lot of time. I’m a super fan of tiny ridiculous actions and if you’re wanting to start a journaling habit, you can commit to writing one sentence per day of something you learned. I know it sounds silly but it’s also still journaling. The amount of words doesn’t matter. The commitment to documenting something for yourself does.
By carving out time to prioritize your feelings, emotions and thoughts, you are gently saying to yourself that YOU MATTER. This might be a welcome change that leads to more decisions that put your well-being at the forefront instead of not even being on the list. Let’s change the narrative that journaling takes so much time that it shouldn’t even be in the conversation. That are plates need to be cleared of other things before we consider carving out the time to reflect on the lives we work so hard to create. There is time for journaling. The real question is if there is a desire to do so.
What are the different types of journaling methods?
There are too many journaling methods to list out in this blog post but I can give you 5 of the most common types of journaling to get you started.
1. Free Writing Free writing is the most straightforward form of journaling. It’s about getting all your thoughts onto paper without worrying about grammar, structure, or making sense. Imagine your mind as a cluttered attic, and free writing is like dumping everything out so you can see what’s there. This method helps you clear your mental clutter, making it easier to understand your thoughts and feelings. For busy moms, free writing can be a lifesaver. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes, grab a piece of paper or open a blank document, and just write. Don’t edit or censor yourself; let everything flow naturally. This practice can be incredibly freeing and insightful, revealing patterns and thoughts you might not have noticed before.
2. Prompted Journaling Prompted journaling involves responding to specific questions or prompts. This can be especially helpful for those who struggle with knowing what to write about. Prompts guide your reflection, helping you explore different aspects of your life and emotions. As a working mom, you might feel overwhelmed by daily responsibilities, leaving little time for self-reflection. Using prompts like “What aspects of my life am I most grateful for?” or “What activities make me lose track of time?” can provide structure and make the process of journaling less daunting. This method allows you to dig deeper into your thoughts and gain clarity on issues that matter most to you.
3. Listed Journaling Listed journaling is exactly what it sounds like. Moms are very familiar with making all sorts of list so listed journaling could be writing down a list of things you’re grateful for, goals you want to achieve, or even things that are stressing you out. Lists are a quick and easy way to organize your thoughts without needing to write long paragraphs. I love listed journaling so much, I created The Wellthy Mama Guided Self-Love Journal which helps moms make 30 lists all about them in less than 15 minutes a day. This type of journaling is perfect for busy moms because it’s quick, straightforward, and can be done anywhere. Lists help you focus on the positive, set clear goals, and acknowledge your achievements, even on the busiest days.
4. Morning Pages Morning Pages is a concept popularized by Julia Cameron in her book “The Artist’s Way.” It involves writing three pages of longhand, stream-of-consciousness first thing in the morning. The idea is to clear your mind and prepare yourself for the day ahead. As a mom, mornings can be hectic, but carving out time for Morning Pages can set a positive tone for your day. This practice helps you process thoughts and emotions, reducing stress and increasing clarity. It’s a way to start the day with intention and mindfulness, making you more present and focused throughout the day.
5. Bullet Journaling Bullet journaling is a customizable organizational system that can include to-do lists, calendars, habit trackers, and more. It combines the benefits of a planner, diary, and to-do list all in one. For busy moms juggling multiple responsibilities, bullet journaling can be a game-changer. It allows you to track tasks, plan ahead, and reflect on your day, all in one place. The beauty of bullet journaling is its flexibility—you can make it as simple or as detailed as you like. It helps you stay organized, prioritize tasks, and keep track of your goals and achievements.
How can I use journaling to set and achieve my goals?
What I love about journaling is that you can use it for so many different areas of your life. I have a friend that has a separate journal for what seems like every aspect of her life. She has a dream journal, a travel journal, a journal just for her brain dumps and one for love. I’m a simple girl with an aversion to clutter so I have one physical journal and one digital journal for all my daily needs.
One of my favorite topics to journal about is goals. When I’m trying to reach a new milestone, it’s very common to feel stuck and writing truly helps me figure out if I’m spinning about things that don’t matter or if I truly need support in order to move forward. For example, I could be having a bit of writer’s block when it comes to creating a new blog post. When I sit down to journal about it, I might realize that I’m just scared that it’ll get low views which can sometimes make me feel like I’m failing. But seeing my fears on the pages or the screen truly help me face them. I’m able to give myself a pep talk or have a vulnerable conversation with someone who can remind me that the mission is more important than the metrics.
Journaling is also great for creating goals in the first place. Maybe, you have a couple items you want to work on or achieve. Writing it out can help you understand which one you want to focus on in the next few months. I used to run from writing things down because I thought it was time consuming and boring. Now, I look forward to working out and documenting my life through writing. If you love looking back at old photos, you’ll really get a kick out of reading past journals. You’ll see how much you’ve achieved not only in a career or physical sense but in maturity as well. I never would have thought I could write my own journal, plan a women’s retreat or have a coaching business.
CONCLUSION
Whenever I start to get sidetracked, I can come to my journal and remember what I set out to do. It can be that nagging friend who is constantly redirecting you toward what matters most. Annoying but needed. Outside of Jesus, journaling has helped me stay on track in a way I could never imagine. Don’t just think of journaling as a space to release your emotions. It truly can help you build a business, write a book or declutter your home. Whatever that goal is in your life, journaling can be the guide that helps you process the roller coaster of emotional, physical and mental roadblocks that stop you from reaching the finish line on a goal you care about. Give it a try. Journaling won’t hurt you but it definitely can help. And what a magical story of transformation you’ll have captured along the way!
